26 May 2011

whore's shower.


Turning the other cheek, I've found total control. I am more powerful and potent than thou. How much of it is tolerance and how much of it is make-believe? Taking time to listen, I let my voice fall just above a whisper and I turn red. 
My vengeance is failure. Like feeding a black hole, I stood on the edge and watched things turn into no-things. Inside is empty. The doctor told her she's "pink inside". The doctor told me to relax, to talk to someone. Potency is both terrifying and attractive. Considering vasectomies, two men shared vague sex stories. Pulling out. Pulling out. Pulling out.
"Come over and shoot the shit" I'm one of the boys. Shit-talking.
I don't care how I look anymore. I know. Men think we're smart but they still treat us like porcelain.
Twenty forever, a fear of aging. Not afraid of death, afraid of myself. Growing into something like a witch, something like succubus, or a goddess of wrath. 
TERRIBLE and GREAT.


06 May 2011

P.I.T.A.

video


i don't know what i'm doing anymore, but i'll keep doing it. watching old movies, watching twilight zone episodes, listening to oldies, and listening to the sound of walls. i moved again. i'm building a shrine. i inherited a pet snake. skylights, a garage door, a floral couch. i've been thinking. i've been alone. i've had company. i need a permanent solution.