it's been over a year since i last posted to this written blog. i feel that a lot about me has matured, but of course i could be wrong.
something about the amount of acne i have as a 22 year old concerns me. is it my worry? is it my hormones? is it my boyfriend's facial hair or my dirty pillows?
happy to be here, still, i guess. but still conflicted by the regular things like my sexuality, my constant desire for attention, and the way i make art. what is it worth anyway? to me, that is. i'm trying to find out.
living with someone so adored by others and myself makes it difficult to find confidence. his constant suggestions while i paint are always brilliant but i am crippled by his brilliance. what am i to do if i cannot see those marks within my own mind, without his guidance?
my first full year (almost) together with someone.
living side by side with my best friend. irritable but comfortable.
i guess i never knew what love was.
maybe now i know. i long to fulfill motherhood. but i fear it.